Music to His Ears

“I almost died running just now,” Darren Waller said as he sat down to interview with Inked Magazine. On that August morning, temperatures reached 113 degrees in Las Vegas, according to The Weather Channel, so running on the treadmill with the garage open might sound like a risky endeavor to most. But one thing’s for certain: Waller doesn’t shy away from rolling the dice.

Living in Sin City, a place where one might think a recovering addict could struggle with sobriety, Waller said, “I couldn’t imagine a better place for my recovery and my growth. I feel like I’ve done nothing but slowly grow over time as a person since living here.”

If you aren’t already acquainted, Waller was a football star in the making in high school. He continued his education and brought his athletic acumen with him to Georgia Tech where he transitioned from wide receiver to tight end, ultimately being drafted in 2015 by the Baltimore Ravens.

During his storied NFL career, Waller made headlines on and off the field for his extraordinary athleticism, but also for his personal struggles, which resulted in a suspension for violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy. After a year-long suspension, breaking news stories flipped, highlighting his successful rehabilitation, his move to the Oakland Raiders (now Las Vegas Raiders), his impressive development on the field, and the creation of The Darren Waller Foundation, a nonprofit that supports youth and their families through the journey of addiction recovery.

But what might be the biggest newsflash about the extensively inked sports star came in June 2024 when, after nearly 10 years of traversing peaks and valleys as a professional footballer, Waller posted a video on YouTube announcing his retirement from the NFL. Leaving behind his Raider Nation fanbase and a $30 million three-year contract, Waller resolved to run the ball toward a different goal: an aspiring music career.

“People close to me [already] knew. I just wanted to share with the world and be authentic because a lot of people supported me — a lot of teams, organizations, fans —and relate to me in a lot of ways. I just wanted to be authentic in how I was leaving,” he explained.

What many people might not know is, behind the scenes, Waller has been writing and recording songs nearly as long as his NFL career, and he comes from a musical lineage that includes his great-grandfather, Thomas “Fats” Waller, a popular jazz pianist and singer from the early 1900s. “We grew up with pictures of him around the house,” he said. “But when I really learned all about my great-grandfather was my senior year of college. I had a jazz history elective class and the professor was like, ‘You know, you need to pay attention. This is your family legacy.’ And it kind of planted the seed.”

Before his YouTube announcement, Waller had “a very sobering experience” when he had a health scare that resulted in a three-day stay at the hospital, giving him ample opportunities to re-examine his life. He asked himself if he would be satisfied with his life story if it all ended at that moment. “I was like, hell no. I’m not OK with where life is going,” he shared. “I’m just out here, still playing football, just for the sake of validation from people and because it’s comfortable. And out of fear; if I walked away, people would say all types of things, which they did. People have all kinds of opinions, I’m sure. But it’s like, why am I afraid to do this for myself? Why am I so reliant on what other people think?” He told himself, “Yep, it’s time for a change.”

Waller released several songs and music videos in recent years, and his new album, set to release at the end of 2024 or the beginning of 2025, is aptly called “I’m Not Even Who I Am Yet.” “And that’s like the mic drop for where I’m at in my life, you know?” he explained. “I still feel like I’m evolving and growing and finding out who Darren Waller is ultimately. So, that will be the title and tracks that revolve around that theme. Tracks that are already done, tracks that are in the works.” Strap on your helmet — Waller has a few things to share about his music, his tattoos, and where he is now.

You have transitioned from football to the music world. How’s that been going?

It’s been a lot of fun — a lot of fun. I’ve enjoyed creating music for a long time. It’s honestly brought me a lot of joy more consistently than football has. It’s weird because you don’t want to show that people, they’ll think that you’re not interested in football or you’re just there for the money, which I wasn’t — I’ve always been committed to the game and given my best. But the joy kind of fades after a while. I’ve been playing the game since I was 4; so having more time to devote to music has been a lot of fun; a lot of learning because I don’t know anything about this world or this side of things. So thankfully I have a team of people that are helping me out tremendously as I navigate this. I just love creating and I have more time to do it. My confidence is growing and I’m just excited to share more with people and just you know be in a chapter of my life where I feel like this is my most authentic self.

But it doesn’t come without a little bit of grief of you know what football was — the comfort it provided, the familiarity of it. It was very safe in a way. It’s a very violent game, but in a way it was safe because I knew what I was doing and it ensured validation. But I’m excited about my music journey. It’s a new chapter and I’m just out here just seeing how it goes.

How do you find your inspiration for your music?

My inspiration comes from so many different sources: my real-life experiences; the ups and downs of my life. I listen to damn near every genre of music, so I could listen to something that has no relation to what I may be doing, but it may just inspire me in some weird way that helps me to create something. Inspired by being on a spiritual journey now, since I got sober. So, a lot of principles from that has impacted the way that I want to present myself on records and the things that I want to say and get across. So, inspiration comes from everything — a simple conversation with a stranger or somebody I’ve known for a long time. I’m grateful that there’s so many things that can inspire me and it’s not just like a limited scope.

What kind of stories can you share about your tattoos?

[Listening to the lyrics of my own] music was almost affirmations for my future or who I will grow into. And the same thing for a lot of the tattoos that I have. Things that I put on my body that… I wasn’t necessarily those things at the time, but they were symbols of what I wanted to be, who I wanted to be, how I wanted to show up. It just [now] popped into my head because they all have some sort of meaning as I look at them now.

I was getting a bulk of my tattoos done in the time when I was suspended and kind of early on in my career when I started to really take off. It was another way for me to express myself through times of difficulty where a lot of times I really didn’t have the words for it. But putting it on my body was a way for me to express that and develop a sense of comfort with it because now it’s literally almost head to toe.

What else is on the horizon? Is it true that your music and nonprofit are your primary focuses now and what you plan to do forever? Or, do you say nothing is forever and you never know if you might change your mind?

You make a valid point. I love writing right now and I feel like it’s something I’ll always do. There may be a point where I might be done releasing to the public and I’ll just make what I feel inspired to make in my home and just ride around to what I make. For right now, yeah, I definitely feel like there’s a journey for me in this to go on and learn from and just share with people.

I’ll definitely be spending a lot of time traveling. I love hiking and going to the mountains; I’m going to Japan in a month for 10 days. My sister just had my nephew and he’s like 4 months old. I’m going to see him this weekend and just plan on being around them a whole bunch, so just do a lot of things I haven’t been able to do. I’ve just been grinding, grinding, grinding my whole life and now I get to enjoy it. Looking forward to it.

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