Have Tattoos? Forget About Getting a License to Kill

Do you have inspirations of becoming a real life version of James Bond? Well hopefully you don’t have any visible tattoos or your dreams of wooing women and drinking martinis on the Riviera all while protecting the U.K. will be dashed before you ever get to strap on your standard issue laser beam shooting watch. MI5, the British equivalent to the CIA, is looking to hire some brand new agents with some pretty strict requirements as to appearance.

“Any distinguishing features such as tattoos on your face, neck or forearms would make you more recognizable to someone who is under surveillance and would therefore make you unsuitable for this role,” the restrictions posted on the MI5 employment website read.

If you are willing to get some laser work done or limit your tattoos to your torso you might still be out of luck; male applicants must be 6’1″ or under, female applicants can’t be any taller than 5’8″. What is interesting from a tattooed person’s point of view is that the wording of the post makes it very clear that they are trying to find a diverse group of people to fill the Surveillance position, so if you are looking for a little diversity what’s wrong with a person having one or two tattoos? There’s a big difference between trying to be a sleeper agent in North Korea while having knuckle tattoos that say “England!” and sitting in a van observing someone in downtown London with a small rose tattoo on your forearm.

It’s also fun to note that the only person to play James Bond that would meet these requirements is Daniel Craig, and even he has a tattoo on his shoulder. The most famous of all the Bonds, Sean Connery, would have been excluded for. Connery is too tall and also has multiple tattoos, including one that says “Scotland Forever.”

The lesson here is that you should just inspire to play James Bond in the movies, being an actual MI5 agent sounds pretty boring.