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Inked Mag Staff

May 6th, 2015

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Cleaning Up the ‘Filthy Beard’ Drama

GO AHEAD, LET YOUR GIRLFRIEND SNOOP – WE ARE PRO BEARD. Microbiologists out of New Mexico plunged deep into their studies to determine what lies beneath the manly beards we’ve…

GO AHEAD, LET YOUR GIRLFRIEND SNOOP – WE ARE PRO BEARD.

Microbiologists out of New Mexico plunged deep into their studies to determine what lies beneath the manly beards we’ve come to grow know in our community. Rumor has it they found traces of fecal matter and more potty-word-worthy bacteria in the midst of the ‘stache, goatee, and full grown. Basically, whatever beard you sport may be contaminated and it’s all your fault.

After discovering what was living inside the tested beards, they found them to match bacteria found in feces, Microbiologist John Golobic, of Quest Diagnostics says, “These are the things that cause urinary tract infections.” This is the time gnarly is relevant outside of surfer mumble. Golobic went on to list a few ways in which men can take care of their dirty doo, the most obvious, “try to keep your hands away from your face as much as possible,” which may prove to be rather difficult for those of you who sit at your desk twirling your tousles while you contemplate what to eat for lunch.

Based on the beard’s popularity amongst tattoo culture, one could say we here at Inked are grooming experts. We don’t want to see anybody’s hard earned facial hair disappear in his sleep because of a little science scare. Even in the sweltering heat of summer, which is fast approaching, we are pro beard. That being said, we want to make sure our dudes are keeping clean, because that can cause all kinds of nasty otherwise.

The germs that are claimed to live in your beard are found all over the place, from your phone to your office Keurig, even on your kitchen chair. Above all else, we suggest you simply wash your hands regularly. You should change your pillowcase each week, too (beard or no beard). When you shower, get on board the beard wash train and maintain the cleanliness with beard saver. If you’re an on-the-go guy, it’s smart to keep some face wipes on hand in case of a dirty commute. Check out our list of more grooming products and get back to flaunting that beard loud and proud, just like Boston Red Sox first basemen Mike Napoli (pictured above).

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With our fan-familiar dinos back on the big screen, the excitement of the newly released Jurassic World: Rebirth has brought the prehistoric to the present, one tattoo at a time.

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