Tattoos You Don’t Want Your Mom To See

Everyone has a different relationship with their parents, life is complicated, after all, but there is one indisputable fact we can all agree upon—your mother went through hell to bring you into this world. The very least you can do is not bring horrible shame upon the family, right? 

That bare minimum, for many people, is simply too much to ask for. Acting a fool and getting (deservedly) yelled at is one thing, that will pass in time. The tattoos that you’ll find in this gallery, on the other hand, will be a constant thorn in the side of your dear ol’ ma. You can say “Sorry, mom,” a million times, but we’d fully understand if the woman who birthed you can’t bring herself to forgive you. Enjoy.

I can honestly say that if I were the person in the photo, my mother would be much more irritated with the poor grammar than the sentiment behind this piece. That being said, I’m pretty sure every mother on Earth would be less than thrilled with their daughter proclaiming how proficient she is at oral sex via a permanent tattoo. 

So you’re into kinky sex and like to be choked. Cool. Have lots of consensual fun in the bedroom with that. But why, dear god, why did you feel the need to get a hand permanently tattooed around your throat? Imagine trying to explain this one away during Thanksgiving dinner.

A friend of mine told me about the day his mother called him up and asked if he knew what furries were. He thought she said “Furbies,” so he slowly explained that nonsense to her. Her response? “No, not that, I think it’s a sex thing.” Now, imagine having to have that conversation when you are the furry. 

This dude definitely got the lecture about what to say if you don’t have anything nice to say. 

Sure, your mom might be a little impressed with how clever the placement is here. But, c’mon man. You’re going to make her look at that? 

Your mother spent countless hours slaving over a hot stove to make you three nutritious meals a day, and this is how you repay her? 

Most people try to hide their drug addiction from people. This guy, not so much. 

Again, most smokers go to great lengths to attempt to hide their vice. Nobody wants to be forced to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes in front of their mother. 

Words fail us here. 

Mom: What time is it? 
Son: Let me check, it’s… uh…. 
Mom: Just show me your watch.
Son: [Jamming hand into pocket] It’s 2 or something. 

Goddamn, I hope this person doesn’t have siblings who read this. 

Friends, your mom has had it tough enough. Let’s just try not to get tattoos that will make her cringe. It’s not too much to ask.