Everybody has been there: you wake up in a strange place, your head is woozy, the reek of stale booze and last night’s cigarettes make you want to retch, you get to your feet, search around for a missing shoe, start to exit the hellhole but then you remember what happens to those who pass out during ragers. You book it to the bathroom, it’s sticky and appalling. You face the mirror with the trepidation of a 3rd grader who was given the word “maneuver” during a spelling bee. And there it is, a crudely Sharpied cock on your forehead.

Sorry for taking you back to that memory but it is only so that you can empathize with Holly Aston. You see, while in the party spirit she allowed her inebriated friends to ink a phallus on her with an online-purchased DIY tattoo machine. She told the Mirror, “I let my mates draw whatever they wanted. I have the word ‘Dyke’ on my ankle, and then one drew the penis on my shoulder. I knew what they were doing and didn’t mind at the time. It was just a joke and I thought it was funny. But then I woke up the next day, looked at it and thought ‘Oh God, what have I done?’ The joke was over and it really wasn’t funny anymore.”

This was a few years ago, but since you are just hearing about it now feel free to have a laugh, and don’t feel bad for her anymore the UK TV show Bodyshockers: Nips, Tucks and Tattoos has put her under a laser and after five sessions it is almost as gone as this morning’s hangover.