World’s Biggest Splinter! Man Gets Impaled by a Tree…and Lives!

Does some have a giant pair of tweezers?!

What do you get when you combine one bad ass, mutha-f-er, a paratrike (will explain later) that fall from the sky and a lethal looking tree branch? The answer is one damn, nasty splinter! Now we will fill in the blanks.

The bad ass is 36-year-old Ivan Krasouski from Belarus. He’s a big dude and a recreational paratrike flyer who was out flying this summer when when a strap snapped and he span out of control and eventually crashed into a woodland area.

A paratrike is for lack of a better explanation, a crazy looking micro light flying machine that looks like you’re flying around while sitting a child’s car seat attach to a giant fand with three shopping cart wheels for landing gear.

So, Ivan crashes through some trees on his descent which apparently softened his crash landing so much so that Ivan remembers thinking, ‘I fell so softly, all is okay,'” he said in hospital. “‘I’ll stand up and go…’ then… something holds me back.

Ivan had no idea he was impaled until…

“I looked and it was a giant log there. I tore my shirt and there was a branch in my arm, thick as a watermelon. Like in ancient times people were put on a stake… I was impaled.”

“Many people came. I told them – ‘Take out this splinter,’ and they say ‘No, are you crazy? If we take it away, you’ll bleed to death.

Rescuers arrived and after assessing the situation told Krasouski what the others had said, that they couldn’t remove the branch from his arm out here, because if they did he would bleed to death. Ivan kept cool and actually cracked jokes while they cut him free from the wreckage and carted him off to hospital with the branch still in place.

“My classmate arrived. He works as a rescuer,” he said. “He sawed off the log from one side, then from the other.

“I was like, ‘I am Groot!’ and I went to the ambulance with this log embedded in me.”

Once he had finished making Guardians of the Galaxy references and taking videos of himself, surgeons were able to operate and successfully remove the giant splinter from his shoulder and Ivan went home to recuperate.