Bagel Tattoos

Good morning!

I love to ease into my day by having some coffee, perusing the internet and chowing down on a nice delicious everything bagel with plain cream cheese (not toasted). It’s truly the most wonderful way to start the day.

I’ve been a big fan of bagels every since I was a little kid. Once I was introduced to “Jewish donuts” as my father called them, I was hooked. Part of what I think makes bagels so great is the variety of different types and ways to prepare them. So as I grew up and my tastes changed there was always a new bagel waiting for me.

When I was young and dumb I was a big fan of cinnamon raisin bagels. Sometimes I’d even go extra crazy and have one served up with some cinnamon raisin cream cheese. Now if I were to even catch sight of that abomination the bile would start to rise up my throat, but it was the spark that started the conflagration of my burning desire for bagels.

For a while I was an always lox bagel eater—I must have had an influx of cash at the time—and for a very short spell I was super into garlic bagels with butter, a phase that not coincidentally lined up with a period of being single.

Bagels, like many regional delicacies, always end up being the fodder for arguments over which type is best. “New York bagels are the only good ones because of the water!” “Jersey bagels are better!” “Montreal is the only place that does it right!” And so on.

I don’t see the point of any of that discourse. Why not just like what you like and let others like what they like? There are so many different ways to enjoy a bagel, why do people have to go and try and ruin other peoples’ enjoyment? Sliced in half, sliced into quarters, toasted, not toasted, with cream cheese, with avocado, in little bites or as a pizza bagel… whatever. Just do what you want and treat yourself to one of the world’s greatest foods.

Oh, but with one caveat. Don’t order a plain bagel with butter. It is the blandest order on Earth, it disrespects the very notion of the bagel, and it’s a waste of everybody’s time. If you truly want to appreciate the art of the bagel, go for something more adventurous and satisfying. Maybe even consider getting some bagel tattoos to show your dedication to this versatile and beloved food.

Check out these amazing bagel tattoos!