Terrifying Zombie Tattoos

This morning started out like just about any other Monday morning. I slept through my alarm for about an hour, as per usual, before finally getting out of bed. Groggy and irritated about having to go to work, I still managed to get myself out of the house still on time. I pushed my way onto the train, which was packed, and things seemed a little off. People were in costume.

Now, a random person or two may be wearing costumes on just about any day of the year in New York City, it’s that kind of chaotic, but to see a good dozen people in various get-ups is definitely unusual. And then right around the time it hit me that it must be Halloween, I felt a sharp pain on my hand. I looked down to see a little fella dressed like a zombie happily sinking his teeth into me.

I understand getting a little overzealous while in costume, it’s happened to the best of us, but I draw the line at a 10-year-old biting strangers on the train. There’s no way in hell that’s sanitary, and honestly, it really hurt. I have my hand all wrapped up in gauze right now but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t painful typing these words.

I didn’t want to end up on a viral video as just another Karen, so I didn’t really say anything. It’s a little bite, what’s the big deal?

Sorry, that’s probably a lot of personal information to share in a simple blog post. I digress, let’s talk zombie tattoos, shall we? Of all the different genres of horror film, zombie movies have always appealed to me the most. All of the most beloved zombie films, starting with George A. Romero’s “Night of the Living Dead,” do more than simply scare the audience. They use the concept of the undead as a jumping off point to hold a mirror at society’s ills. In “Night of the Living Dead,” the viewer is shown how the actions of humans can often be more terrifying than a pack of ravenous undead monsters. In “Dawn of the Dead” it is America’s devotion to commercialism that….

I’m sorry, is it hot in here? I’m not feeling quite right. And if I’m being completely truthful, the pain in my hand is radiating all the way up my arm.

I digress. What was I saying? Oh, “Dawn of the Dead” was not only an attack on the rampant materialism found throughout the Me Generation, but it also represented a huge step up in visual effects, making the zombies even more terrifying than they were previously.

The concept of being able to have your humanity disappear in a matter of hours is a horrifying thought, and it is the very root of these films. Either you lost your humanity when put in dire circumstances or you lose it through an otherworldly disease coursing through your veins, infected with a simple bite.

Speaking of bites…. should a wound turn black? It’s only been a few hours, but I don’t have health insurance so I don’t want to have to haul my ass to the emergency room when all I really needed was some Bactine and an Advil.

As I was saying, over the years the zombie film has evolved. Many times the zombies aren’t slow moving and brainless, they often are superhumanly quick and fierce. As far as symbolism goes, modern films tend to blame environmental catastrophes or corruption for….

My head is absolutely throbbing right now. I want to finish this article but I don’t know if I can. Every keystroke is agony. My hand has turned black around the wound…. I think I might need to go lie down foasd;ghasgklebh ohenriotu =0[qgAb.nv /l.,

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Editor’s Note: This article was set to auto publish. It wasn’t until I got to the last bit that I grew concerned. I was working from home today—had to finish working on my costume for tonight—but now I’m more than a little worried. Calls to the office have gone unanswered. I hope everybody’s OK… but let’s just distract ourselves by looking at some really cool zombie tattoos. I’m sure everything is fine.