Inked Mag Staff
July 20th, 2020
Junk Food Tattoos
Why must the food that tastes the best be so, so, so bad for you? It's really cruel. on the plus side, a junk food tattoo contains zero calories.
Everybody loves junk food, no matter what they may say. We like to pretend that we’d never eat such garbage, that we’ve become so refined that we nary even entertain the thought of eating our way through a sleeve of Chips Ahoy. Even the healthiest person I’ve ever met had a secret junk food Achille’s heel, Sour Patch Kids in her case. Scarfing down a bag of Flamin’ Hot anything at 2 a.m. may fill you with immense amounts of joy, but most people aren’t going to advertise this fact.
As with so many other things, there’s nothing to be ashamed of here. Junk food tastes fucking good. As long as you make sure to eat plenty of other nutritious stuff—fries do not count as “vegetables”—you can enjoy junk food in moderation.
But if you’re really watching your weight, we’ve come up with a delightful zero-calorie alternative for you—a junk food tattoo! No matter how many junk food tattoos you get, they’re guaranteed not to raise your cholesterol, spike your blood sugar or add inches to your waist. I know that it sounds too good to be true, but this isn’t a scam. These junk food tattoos are 100% fat-free!
OK, jokes aside, we love the confidence it takes to boldly wear one’s love of junk food in their tattoo collection. How is getting a tattoo of your favorite snack food any different than wearing the logo of your favorite band or getting a portrait of your favorite actor? Yet, some people will probably try to make you feel badly for getting Cheeto tattoo. Screw the haters! Be yourself! If you love junk food, proudly wear your junk food tattoo!
Get ready to chow down on some badass junk food tattoos. Just be sure to save some room for dessert.
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