Worried Girlfriend’s Hilarious Letter Forbids Getting Tattooed

Going on a trip with your best buddies and making scores of bad decisions is a right of passage for twenty-something men all over the world. Here in the United States the destination of choice for debauchery with your crew is more often than not Las Vegas. Scottish guys with chaos on their minds hop on a plane to the Spanish island of Majorca. So when Kieran Lumsden headed to the party town of Magaluf he left a very concerned girlfriend at home, but thanks to a ridiculous letter she packed it was as if she was looking over his shoulder the entire time.

We got a good laugh at most of the rules, especially since nearly half of them were various ways of telling him not to cheat. But it was rule number 4 that irked us the most. “Tattoo = Naw. You’ll be checked when home.” No tattoos? What the hell? Where’s the fun in that. Lumsden is out with his best friends on the trip of a lifetime; it’s exactly the kind of occasion that would be perfect for buddy tattoos. Sure, maybe a drunken adventure culminating with a couple of tattoos is exactly the kind of situation that leads to some horrible ink but that’s why cover ups were invented. 

The rest of the rules seem pretty reasonable albeit a little heavy handed. Of course Lumsden should be sleeping in his own bed, that’s just common sense. And we all know the importance of keeping one’s phone charged. But Whitney needs to ease up on the tattoo restrictions. Tattoos are fun. Tattoos are cool. Just let the boy get inked, Whitney. We promise it’ll be OK.